


The Trouble With Love

by FleetSparrow



Category: Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics)
Genre: Background Relationships, Bisexual Edward Nygma, Eddie's a bit of a bastard, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:21:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25106128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FleetSparrow/pseuds/FleetSparrow
Summary: Edward muses on his relationships:  the good, the bad, and the secret.
Relationships: Edward Nygma/Bruce Wayne
Comments: 8
Kudos: 35
Collections: Little Black Dress Exchange 2020





	The Trouble With Love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BookofOdym](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BookofOdym/gifts).



> I really hope you enjoy this!!

Edward had never been particular about his partners.

Well, that wasn’t strictly true. He was actually incredibly particular about his partners. They had to be brilliant, like him, but they couldn’t be so brilliant that they wouldn’t flatter him at the drop of his wit.

That’s why he liked Jervis. A computer nerd after his own heart, Jervis understood Edward’s technological inclinations and creations. He just wasn’t so sure how he felt about Jervis’s tendency to test his mind control chips on him. That was a lie. He knew how he felt and he didn’t like it one bit.

So, he moved on.

Not that he and Jervis didn’t stay friends; they just weren’t partners in romance anymore. Partners in crime, hell yeah.

Anyway. Jonathan.

Praise from Jonathan Crane was like manna from Heaven, what with John’s permanently sour temperament and irascibility. Edward lived for it. But, much like Jervis, Jonathan had an uncomfortable predilection for testing his newest formulas on Edward, usually when he was least expecting it. Morning coffee and nightmares weren’t high on his list of favorite things.

Edward had once tried to get something started with Harvey, but found Two-Face a little too…frightening. Plus, the man got so upset when Edward mentioned the statistics around his precious coin flips.

Pamela was too prickly--haha; Harley was too bubbly--and he didn’t have so big a death wish as to date Joker’s ex, thank you _very_ much; and Selina was, well, let’s just say that she really hadn’t forgiven him for Italy, nor he her for the destruction of his PI business.

Really, the supervillain community had a very small dating pool.

That had left Edward with Croc--ew; Bane--he didn’t feel like getting _his_ back broken, thanks; Baby Doll--her brains were about as big as she was; or, loath as he was to admit it, _Joker_.

He’d honestly rather cut off his own dick than risk Joker getting a hold of him.

Truth be told, he was getting a little tired of the villain dating scene. Sure, he had Query and Echo to go back to any time he wanted, but what he really wanted was stimulation! For, um, both his heads, as it were. Q & E were better at one of those than the other.

Of course, Edward was nothing if not resourceful. He had one lover that he’d managed to keep secret from everyone. He was used to keeping secrets, so many of them locked away in his head for safekeeping. He knew the biggest secret of all. The one answer to so many of the questions that his fellow villains wished to know.

Who.

Was.

Batman.

Edward knew.

In fact, he knew _intimately_ who Batman really was.

And, it often pleased him to say it, even if he only said his name when he was alone.

“Bruce Wayne.”

“What, Edward?”

Edward looked over at the scarred back of his current paramour. How many times had he traced those scars with his fingers, his tongue? Always getting that little rush of joy when he found one he’d inflicted.

“Nothing. I was just saying your name out loud. I like the sound of it.”

Bruce scoffed. “Are you going to start writing it down in your journal? Mr. Edward Wayne?”

“I thought you’d take my name.”

Bruce rolled over to glare at him, although there was no bite to it. “It wouldn’t have the same ring.”

Edward laughed and tucked himself back down in bed, wrapping his arms around Bruce. “Tell me I’m brilliant.”

“You’re highly intelligent, Edward.”

Edward scrunched his nose up. “That’s not the same.”

Bruce laughed and kissed Edward’s forehead. “You’re brilliant. But wicked.”

“I know I am, but what are you?” Edward said.

“Easily misled,” Bruce said.

“I wish you were,” Edward grumbled playfully. “But then you wouldn’t be nearly as fun.”

“Admit it,” Bruce said, rolling them over to straddle Edward. “The one thing you like more than being the smartest person is proving it.” He kissed his neck. “But I’m just one step cleverer than you.”

This was often how their pillow talk went. Bruce would toy with him, tease him about not being the smartest, and that would get Edward’s ire up. Then Bruce would fuck his brains out, and Edward would forget all about being the smartest person in the room for a little while.

“How are you one step ahead of me, hm?” Edward asked, grinding his hips up to meet Bruce’s.

“You may know my secret, but you can’t prove it.”

Edward paused. “What do you mean?”

Bruce grinned at him. “What good is a riddle when everyone knows the answer?”

Edward glowered. “That’s not fair.”

Bruce just chuckled and kissed him. “All’s fair in love and riddles.”


End file.
